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- The lights are on, but no one’s home.
- If his brain was dynamite there wouldn’t be enough to blow his hat off.
- A few fries short of a Happy Meal.
- Not the sharpest crayon in the box.
- The wheel’s spinning, but the hamster’s dead.
- Doesn’t have all his dogs on one leash.
- Couldn’t pour water out of a boot with instructions on the heel.
- Too much yardage between the goal posts.
- A few beers short of a six-pack.
- Doesn’t have all his cornflakes in one box.
- Forgot to pay his brain bill.
- A few Fruit Loops short of a bowl.
- Warning: Objects in the mirror are dimmer than they appear.
- Has an intellect rivalled only by garden tools.
- As smart as bait.
