Ever wondered what those editorial quotes on the backs of books are all about?
Here’s a quick guide:
| a real tear-jerker | writing so bad it makes you cry |
| a writer to watch | as opposed to one you are actually want to read |
| absorbing | makes a great coaster |
| accessible | not too many big words |
| acclaimed | poorly selling |
| affecting | I felt something. Could’ve been the book. Could’ve been indigestion. |
| an ebook original | no proofreading and bad formatting |
| breathless prose | needs resuscitating |
| brilliantly defies categorization | even the author has no clue what he’s turned in |
| dazzling | prose so gorgeous you won’t really notice that nothing happens |
| definitive | could have used an editor |
| edgy | irritating |
| epic | very long |
| erotic | porn |
| gripping | there’s something sticky on the cover |
| haunting | sat unfinished for months while I read other stuff. |
| heart-warming | major character is a dog, an old guy, or both |
| in the proud tradition of J R R Tolkien | has a dwarf in it |
| literary | plotless |
| long-awaited | late |
| luminous | not much happens |
| lyrical | not much happens |
| magisterial | long |
| meticulously researched | overloaded with footnotes |
| novella | a short story with a large font |
| promising début | flawed |
| provocative | about race/religion/sex |
| rollicking | chaotic |
| sensual | soft porn |
| stunning | a major character dies |
| unflinching | has a lot of bad words |
| weighty | I’ve been lugging this monster all over town and I still can’t bring myself to finish it |
| wildly imaginative | the writer must’ve been on drugs |
(Freely adapted from One-Minute Book Reviews)